White Girl Icons
Marilyn Monroe, the patron saint of home wreckers in size 12 halter dresses. Marilyn is why everybody wants to bang a blonde. She’s proof that a little bit of bleach, red lipstick and a baby voice is a boner magnet, and can make any weenie stray from the Jackie O’s of the world.
Sometimes, seeing modern celebs like Lindsay Lohan and Kate Upton channeling the starlet is so similar to her, I feel like I’m watching the real Marilyn. I haven’t seen her old movies, but whatevskies. It’s not like we care about her acting anyway!
Marilyn’s quotes make me feel better about all of my whoopsie daisies, and I know she makes a lot of curvy women feel sexier between shame-attacks:
“If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.”
“Who said nights were for sleep?”
“Sex is part of nature. I just go along with nature.”
“Dogs never bite me. Only humans.”